Seven Years!

Happy 7th Anniversary to us! Also, giving a Happy Anniversary wish to Cheryl and John Jarchow!


Right after the big reveal...

At the end of the night, only one of us was sober to drive...(Story of my life, hahahahaha)

Feels like Fall, finally.

I've been really tired of the nasty humidity and weather. Well, Mother Nature has either decided to give us a break, or she is just as tired with the heat of Summer as I am and has decided to end it. The weather has been absolutely beautiful the last couple of days. I've actually enjoyed being outside! I was at a store earlier and the smell of cinnamon filled the air. Ahhhh. Fall time, I'm excited. So, I've decided to change my blog background to showcase my excitement for Fall and all its beautiful colors. :)

"Well Ma'am, no Hysterosalpingogram"

Well, I went to the hospital for my dreaded procedure. I get the gown on, get in the room, and the doctor comes in and starts asking me questions. He finds out I miscarried just 9 days ago and disappears for a bit. He comes back to the room and proceeds to tell me that he's not comfortable doing the procedure so soon after my miscarriage. He's worried there could be 'left over debris' and it could alter the results of the procedure, ultimately leading to me having to do the procedure over to confirm or deny the result from today. So he said it was in my best interest to postpone the procedure.

The labs I had on Thursday aren't back, and won't be for another week or so. So that's it. That's where I'm at. Until next time...

Happy Birthday, Omaha, New Baby, and Nerves.

I want to wish a Happy Birthday to one of my best girlfriends Katie!! I hope you have a great day!

This last weekend we had a great time. On Friday, we headed to the Iowa State Fair. Despite the storming and getting rained on, it was a good time. Lincoln liked seeing all the animals, however, he had no interest in getting pictures taken by their gates. Stinker. We did our usual at the fair and got the 'bucket of cookies'. This year though, we were disappointed as they were barely warm enough to melt the chocolate chips! Usually they're piping hot out of the oven and paired with a glass of milk, ahhhhhhhhhh. Well, hopefully they'll redeem themselves next year. The last thing we hit was the 4H building, which is my personal favorite, as I love seeing what the kids come up with.

Friday night after the fair we headed to Omaha. When we got to Embassy Suites at 7:00 or so, Lincoln had just woken up, as he slept the entire way there from Des Moines. I'm like 'well, what time is he going to go to bed now!' So, we settled into our room and went down to the restaurant, we grabbed a bite to eat, and at 9:00, took Lincoln swimming! Yes, 9:00pm! He got lots of jumping and splashing in. :) Lincoln loves swimming, he's a little fish. So, when we got back to the room and gave him a bath, it was time for bed and he wasn't so sure about going to bed there. He kept saying "I want to go to my bed", he was quite upset. He wanted to go home! Well, come Sunday when it was time to leave, he was quite upset because he didn't want to leave!! He didn't want to go home! Then, as we put him to bed last night he said, "I want to go to bed in the room". Tee-hee-hee.

Also on Friday, our close friends Spencer, Jill, and Chloe Smith welcomed their newest addition, little Landon Jacob into the world! I've blogged many times about the loss of and how much we miss our dear friend Shannon. Well, Spencer is one of Shannon's brothers. To give you a little background info if you don't know already, Spencer was a groomsan at our wedding, all the Smith boys were FHers with Scott, and Shannon worked at P&G and lived with us twice. So this family is very special to us. We love them. So, little Landon weighed 7lbs. 4oz. and was 19 3/4 in. Landon's name was derived in what I think is such a cool idea! Daddy Spencer's middle name is Noland. So, with the switching of some letters, born was the name Landon! Jacob was Shannon's middle name, so Landon is named after both his Daddy, and his Uncle Shannon's middle names! Landon Jacob Smith. Perfect ring to it. :) Congratulations to the Smith family, we love you all!

On Saturday, Scott's cousin Jess got married (to Mikala). It was a great time and very very beautiful. There was definite attention to every detail, as Mikala is an event planner, it was amazing. Congrats to the newleyweds!

On a less positive note, today (Monday) I'm having a procedure called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) performed. I'm so beyond nervous I can't even begin to say. I'm terrified. The procedure involves insertion of a speculum into the vagina, cleaning of the cervix, and insertion of a cathether into the cervix up into the uterus. Then a balloon is inflated to hold the catheter in place while contrast dye is administered through the uterus. This is checking for different uterine defects such as blocked fallopian tubes or septal defects present. What we're hoping to see is the uterus filling, followed by the tubes, and the dye spilling out on each side to show no blockages. This procedure is just one of the things my OB starts with (aside from all my labwork, all 15 tubes!) when someone has recurrent miscarriages. We don't necessarily think my uterus is structurally the issue, I became pregnant 3 times already. But nonetheless, an HSG is part of the checklist, just in case.

I went on youtube and watched some of the textbook videos of the procedure. Then I watched a few videos of women who documented what to expect from the procedure. A few of them freaked me out as I read their comments to the video. One lady was like "it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced and I will never, NEVER, do it again!" Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Perfect. I'm supposed to just relax? YAH RIGHT!!!

I really don't want to have this done, but I'm a weenie, and millions of women have gone through it so I know I need to suck it up. I'm just soooooooooooooooo scared!!!! :(

In Joy and In Sorrow

Well I wasn't going to blog about this for the mere fact that not many people aside from family knew about it. I didn't post it on facebook and still don't plan to, but on here, I don't care. I've come to the realization that things in life happen and sometimes you have no control over them.

The truth is I suffered a miscarriage last Thursday. It wasn't the first but the second since we welcomed Lincoln in 2007. I lost a baby in July 2008 and now again August 2010. I've been so down about it that I just need to get my feelings off my chest, so this is serving as my mode of doing so.

This last pregnancy was so 'normal'. It was a lot like my pregnancy with Lincoln. My biggest 'complaints' were light nauseousness and heartburn, just like with Lincoln. The only thing that seperated the two pregnancies were I was peeing all the time and was way tired. But other than that, no causes for concern. Then on Thursday I started bleeding a little. Deep down, I knew what was probably happening. I just hoped I was one of those people who have bleeding with a normal pregnancy. Nope, the ER confirmed I miscarried.

The second pregnancy was awful. I had a lot of problems with that, which would take me a long time to explain. But in the end after a week of labs and vaginal ultrasounds it was determined I had a non-viable pregnancy and had to have a D&C. So needless to say, I've been 'gun shy' about getting pregnant since then. But I finally did and everything was fine, until it wasn't.

So now, twice since Lincoln I've heard "I'm sorry, you've miscarried." Both pregnancies I lost I was almost 6 weeks. Another thing people may not know, and I'm not at all ashamed to say or admit, is I have to take the fertility medication Clomid to get pregnant. Clomid helps women like me who don't ovulate regularly to do so the month/s you take it. It has worked wonderfully with me. I got pregnant with Lincoln on the first cycle, pregnant with the second on the second cycle, and with the third on the first cycle (like with Lincoln). So it definitely works in helping me get pregnant, but why am I now losing babies?

I don't know what is going on inside my body, but I hope to find out something with my OB tommorow at my 'miscarriage follow-up' appointment. I have to say I'm scared. Scared this is the beginning of a battle. I am always grateful for my Lincoln. But now I wonder, ok, was it a fluke that everything worked out with his pregnancy? To lose 2 babies around the same gestation after him is just weird to me. I know I'm very lucky to have Lincoln, but was I physically at that time 'lucky to have Lincoln'??? I don't know, maybe. I know things 'happen for a reason' and such. I also believe with miscarriages that something probably wasn't right, but nonetheless, it is still heartwrenching.

I am so grateful for my beautiful healthly little boy. I just hope I can someday give him a sibling. I know it's in God's hands what will happen and that I have to let go of trying to control what happens with it, it's just hard. Like I said, we'll see what the OB has to say tomorrow and find out where to go from here.