One thing I didn't expect was the bike to be there. I wondered after the accident what had become of it, and figured it was gone. Shannon's sister-in-law Jill's uncle has been restoring it for several months. They didn't know if it would be done in time for the picnic or not, so it was sort of a surprise to them from my understanding. To see it there brought back a flood of memories. Lincoln thought the motorcycle was pretty cool. He kept saying it is "Shannon's motorcycle". :)
I don't know how many people actually know this, and I did share it with Steve on Sunday, that I took Shannon to pick up the bike when he bought it. He called me from work (P&G) and asked me if I'd take him to pick it up when he got home. He was beyond excited to pick up his new Harley. See, I've never liked motorcycles, ever, I've never been and never will be a fan. I have always thought the danger and rebellion factor with them was too high to risk your life. Even if driven 'sensibly' with a helmet, I don't trust other people driving. So when Shannon said he was going to get a bike, I like a 'mother hen' was so worried. Worried the worst thing would happen to him, little did I know, eventually my worst fear would come true...
When I took Shannon up to get his bike, we had a fun time socializing with the current owner Jim and his wife and even had a beer to toast Shannon's new toy. As I followed Shannon home (I drove his car), the whole time I'm thinking "Lord, please don't let him crash right in front of me, I couldn't handle it". Shannon eventually wanted to get a new wheel put on the front of the bike. So myself, Scott, and Shannon flipped through catalogs of cool wheels and when the bike was finished having the new wheel put on, I again drove Shannon to pick up the bike and followed him home. Neither time did he crash, and many days after that of riding he didn't crash.
I understand we choose whether or not to take risks in life and what not. Shannon's cousin said "there's a fine line between living, and living on the edge", and that is very true. I don't feel at all that I am at fault for what happened, so don't think I'm meaning that in any way, but it just hurts me that much more knowing that even thought he was an adult and could make his own decisions regarding his life, I was the one who took him to get the bike, something I was so against, something that ultimately took his life. I know I would hurt just as bad if someone else had taken him to get the bike, but someone else didn't, it was me, so it's just harder to chew.
I looked at that bike sitting there in the pavillion, and I had so much anger and resentment for that thing, that in that moment I would've like nothing more than to take the biggest axe, hammer, or whatever and destroy it like a pinata. I blame that bike for taking the life of someone so amazing, someone who will never be a husband or a father, or get to continue being the proud uncle he was.
Then I thought about Shannon. How he would be so upset with me thinking that of his 'pride and joy'!!! He'd say "C'mon Andrea, seriously?" That bike brought so much joy to him, that I realized I have a 'love-hate' relationship with it. Shannon loved riding that bike, and I know he was happy and doing what he loved doing when he died. As much as I hate that bike, I love it for bringing him happiness.
Jill's uncle John did a beautiful and amazing job restoring the Harley. A few changes were made I'm told. One was the "Riding Partner" prayer with Shannon's picture was added to the back. Another is a small attached tube containing dirt, grass, and sticks from the accident. Lastly, Steve (Shannon's dad) told me that the rear wheel was ruined in the accident. Shannon had been wanting to add the matching wheel from the front to the back. Steve told me he told Shannon "don't do that, you won't even see it because the saddle bags will cover it", but they ended up putting the matching wheel on that Shannon had wanted to do since it needed a new wheel.
As I heard the bike start up and the roar of the engine, I sobbed. Sobbed because the last time I heard it, Shannon was on it, and when it was summer and he was living with us, I could hear the motorcycle from several blocks away and knew he was almost home. I would laugh because I could imagine our neighbors being irritated with the noise of it on our quiet little street! But no one complained, atleast not that I know of. :) That bike was seriously the LOUDEST MOTORCYCLE I've ever heard!!
After the picnic we went to the cemetary. It would be the first time we've been there since the headstone was placed. We told Lincoln we were going to visit Shannon. It was actually Lincoln's second time there (the first time was last summer with Scott). Anyway, when we were walking away toward the car, Lincoln said "bye-bye Shannon". Talk about tugging of the heartstrings. :( It was absolutely precious.
In conclusion, it was a wonderful time remembering Shannon and honoring him. I know he was looking down on everyone, humble as ever that people thought that much of him. I don't know if he knew how much people thought of him when he was here on Earth with us, but I know now that he knows that he impacted so many lives and left imprints on so many hearts.
(An 'oldie but a goodie'. Shannon at our wedding reception. 8-30-03.)
(The back. Notice the initials at the bottom. UMC-United Methodist Church; BSA-Boy Scouts of America; ISU-Iowa State University; FH-Farmhouse Fraternity; P&G-Procter & Gamble; HD-Harley Davidson.)
(The beautiful bench at the cemetary, an identical one to this has since been placed at P&G.)
.JPG)
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