TTC Update

I thought I'd give an update because I had a friend recently inquire about the status of our TTC (trying to conceive) and it's just that...we're still TTC. I'll begin Clomid again this month and another waiting game begins. I'm not overly emotional about it at the moment, I know it will happen when God wants it to. Until then...waiting.

"What do you want for Christmas little boy?"

Lincoln went to see Santa just after Thanksgiving. I thought maybe he'd be a little hesitant at first, but nope. When it was his turn he ran up to Santa and plopped on his lap. He apparently told him he wanted a Christmas tree (even though we have one in the living room, and he has his own in his room!), and a Buzz Lightyear. I'd asked him before what he was going to ask Santa for and he said a Christmas tree. I asked him if that was all, didn't he want something else like a Buzz Lightyear? So, that is where that came from. :) Little goof.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

Well, we put up our tree this weekend! Yes, it is very early. Much earlier than I'd usually do it. However, last year Scott and I bought a tree after Christmas on clearance at Hobby Lobby, WITHOUT having ever seen it!! I thought it was a huge risk, but for $60, we thought we'd chance it. I wanted to make sure I'd like it because if I didn't, we'd have to get a different one.

This tree is, how shall I say it? BEAUTIFUL!!! I LOVE it!!! It is rather tall though, 9ft!! We can't put it in the usual tree spot in the corner, because it hits the ceiling. Oh well. It's beautiful. It's very rustic looking. Slender with different tips and little pinecones. We went with a dark color scheme. So pretty.

Lincoln too has a tree. A light blue one. He's excited to have one in his room. We just have to find some fun decorations for it. :)

Anyway, we haven't forgotten about Thanksgiving. We always have a lot to be thankful for. Love, Life, and everything in between.

Happy Halloween 2010

Lincoln was a golfer this year! He loves to ride his cart around on a regular basis, so I thought how fun it would be to make it an accessory to his Halloween costume! He even carried a golf ball bucket Easter bucket we had already to collect his candy in. He had soooo much fun. He decided on the way to the third block that he was done with trick or treating for the year. It was interesting trying to convince him that he couldn't eat all of his candy that night. :)

Remembering 9/11, 9 years later...

I remember this day 9 years ago. I will never forget as I watched from the Kappa TV Room while waiting to walk with people to class, seeing the tragic events unfolding in New York. I remember calling Scott at FarmHouse and saying "turn on your TV!!! A plane just crashed into one of the WTC towers!" Then shortly after, they showed the second tower hit. My heart still aches for those who lost their lives and for those who lost loved ones. May God Bless those that lost their lives in the flights that crashed into the WTC's as well as those on Flights 77 & 93.

On a different note. Today is the fight for the CYHAWK trophy. The Cyclones will face off at 2:30PM with The Hawkeyes in their territory. Needless to say, Scott and I won't be out much today, as we live in "Hawkeye Country" and the traffic is nuts!!! Win or lose, we're Cyclones, through and through.

CYCLONES WIN!

Whoot-whoot! First game of the season against Northern Illinois and our CYCLONES win!!! YAY!!!! Here's a few old pics of us supporting our team. :)


I was pregnant with Lincoln in this picture. Our dearly missed friend Shannon Smith is goofing off in the background. :) Then there's Jill and Spencer Smith, Scott and I.



Lincoln was 2 months old in these pics. No, we're not 'those people' who request that our son be a legacy. We will support Lincoln in whatever college he decides to go to. Although, we may 'encourage', ok, heavily encourage that he go to ISU and be an FH'er. :) Mommy also wants him to be close by. :)

This was at the Iowa State Fair. Lincoln was just 3 months old. It was boiling hot that day!!

This was in Lincoln, NE at an ISU vs. UNL game. We had skybox tickets and it was amazing!!!! Nonie, my mom, got Lincoln the bib he's wearing. It says "I can't talk, but I'm a Cyclone!"

Seven Years!

Happy 7th Anniversary to us! Also, giving a Happy Anniversary wish to Cheryl and John Jarchow!


Right after the big reveal...

At the end of the night, only one of us was sober to drive...(Story of my life, hahahahaha)

Feels like Fall, finally.

I've been really tired of the nasty humidity and weather. Well, Mother Nature has either decided to give us a break, or she is just as tired with the heat of Summer as I am and has decided to end it. The weather has been absolutely beautiful the last couple of days. I've actually enjoyed being outside! I was at a store earlier and the smell of cinnamon filled the air. Ahhhh. Fall time, I'm excited. So, I've decided to change my blog background to showcase my excitement for Fall and all its beautiful colors. :)

"Well Ma'am, no Hysterosalpingogram"

Well, I went to the hospital for my dreaded procedure. I get the gown on, get in the room, and the doctor comes in and starts asking me questions. He finds out I miscarried just 9 days ago and disappears for a bit. He comes back to the room and proceeds to tell me that he's not comfortable doing the procedure so soon after my miscarriage. He's worried there could be 'left over debris' and it could alter the results of the procedure, ultimately leading to me having to do the procedure over to confirm or deny the result from today. So he said it was in my best interest to postpone the procedure.

The labs I had on Thursday aren't back, and won't be for another week or so. So that's it. That's where I'm at. Until next time...

Happy Birthday, Omaha, New Baby, and Nerves.

I want to wish a Happy Birthday to one of my best girlfriends Katie!! I hope you have a great day!

This last weekend we had a great time. On Friday, we headed to the Iowa State Fair. Despite the storming and getting rained on, it was a good time. Lincoln liked seeing all the animals, however, he had no interest in getting pictures taken by their gates. Stinker. We did our usual at the fair and got the 'bucket of cookies'. This year though, we were disappointed as they were barely warm enough to melt the chocolate chips! Usually they're piping hot out of the oven and paired with a glass of milk, ahhhhhhhhhh. Well, hopefully they'll redeem themselves next year. The last thing we hit was the 4H building, which is my personal favorite, as I love seeing what the kids come up with.

Friday night after the fair we headed to Omaha. When we got to Embassy Suites at 7:00 or so, Lincoln had just woken up, as he slept the entire way there from Des Moines. I'm like 'well, what time is he going to go to bed now!' So, we settled into our room and went down to the restaurant, we grabbed a bite to eat, and at 9:00, took Lincoln swimming! Yes, 9:00pm! He got lots of jumping and splashing in. :) Lincoln loves swimming, he's a little fish. So, when we got back to the room and gave him a bath, it was time for bed and he wasn't so sure about going to bed there. He kept saying "I want to go to my bed", he was quite upset. He wanted to go home! Well, come Sunday when it was time to leave, he was quite upset because he didn't want to leave!! He didn't want to go home! Then, as we put him to bed last night he said, "I want to go to bed in the room". Tee-hee-hee.

Also on Friday, our close friends Spencer, Jill, and Chloe Smith welcomed their newest addition, little Landon Jacob into the world! I've blogged many times about the loss of and how much we miss our dear friend Shannon. Well, Spencer is one of Shannon's brothers. To give you a little background info if you don't know already, Spencer was a groomsan at our wedding, all the Smith boys were FHers with Scott, and Shannon worked at P&G and lived with us twice. So this family is very special to us. We love them. So, little Landon weighed 7lbs. 4oz. and was 19 3/4 in. Landon's name was derived in what I think is such a cool idea! Daddy Spencer's middle name is Noland. So, with the switching of some letters, born was the name Landon! Jacob was Shannon's middle name, so Landon is named after both his Daddy, and his Uncle Shannon's middle names! Landon Jacob Smith. Perfect ring to it. :) Congratulations to the Smith family, we love you all!

On Saturday, Scott's cousin Jess got married (to Mikala). It was a great time and very very beautiful. There was definite attention to every detail, as Mikala is an event planner, it was amazing. Congrats to the newleyweds!

On a less positive note, today (Monday) I'm having a procedure called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) performed. I'm so beyond nervous I can't even begin to say. I'm terrified. The procedure involves insertion of a speculum into the vagina, cleaning of the cervix, and insertion of a cathether into the cervix up into the uterus. Then a balloon is inflated to hold the catheter in place while contrast dye is administered through the uterus. This is checking for different uterine defects such as blocked fallopian tubes or septal defects present. What we're hoping to see is the uterus filling, followed by the tubes, and the dye spilling out on each side to show no blockages. This procedure is just one of the things my OB starts with (aside from all my labwork, all 15 tubes!) when someone has recurrent miscarriages. We don't necessarily think my uterus is structurally the issue, I became pregnant 3 times already. But nonetheless, an HSG is part of the checklist, just in case.

I went on youtube and watched some of the textbook videos of the procedure. Then I watched a few videos of women who documented what to expect from the procedure. A few of them freaked me out as I read their comments to the video. One lady was like "it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced and I will never, NEVER, do it again!" Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Perfect. I'm supposed to just relax? YAH RIGHT!!!

I really don't want to have this done, but I'm a weenie, and millions of women have gone through it so I know I need to suck it up. I'm just soooooooooooooooo scared!!!! :(

In Joy and In Sorrow

Well I wasn't going to blog about this for the mere fact that not many people aside from family knew about it. I didn't post it on facebook and still don't plan to, but on here, I don't care. I've come to the realization that things in life happen and sometimes you have no control over them.

The truth is I suffered a miscarriage last Thursday. It wasn't the first but the second since we welcomed Lincoln in 2007. I lost a baby in July 2008 and now again August 2010. I've been so down about it that I just need to get my feelings off my chest, so this is serving as my mode of doing so.

This last pregnancy was so 'normal'. It was a lot like my pregnancy with Lincoln. My biggest 'complaints' were light nauseousness and heartburn, just like with Lincoln. The only thing that seperated the two pregnancies were I was peeing all the time and was way tired. But other than that, no causes for concern. Then on Thursday I started bleeding a little. Deep down, I knew what was probably happening. I just hoped I was one of those people who have bleeding with a normal pregnancy. Nope, the ER confirmed I miscarried.

The second pregnancy was awful. I had a lot of problems with that, which would take me a long time to explain. But in the end after a week of labs and vaginal ultrasounds it was determined I had a non-viable pregnancy and had to have a D&C. So needless to say, I've been 'gun shy' about getting pregnant since then. But I finally did and everything was fine, until it wasn't.

So now, twice since Lincoln I've heard "I'm sorry, you've miscarried." Both pregnancies I lost I was almost 6 weeks. Another thing people may not know, and I'm not at all ashamed to say or admit, is I have to take the fertility medication Clomid to get pregnant. Clomid helps women like me who don't ovulate regularly to do so the month/s you take it. It has worked wonderfully with me. I got pregnant with Lincoln on the first cycle, pregnant with the second on the second cycle, and with the third on the first cycle (like with Lincoln). So it definitely works in helping me get pregnant, but why am I now losing babies?

I don't know what is going on inside my body, but I hope to find out something with my OB tommorow at my 'miscarriage follow-up' appointment. I have to say I'm scared. Scared this is the beginning of a battle. I am always grateful for my Lincoln. But now I wonder, ok, was it a fluke that everything worked out with his pregnancy? To lose 2 babies around the same gestation after him is just weird to me. I know I'm very lucky to have Lincoln, but was I physically at that time 'lucky to have Lincoln'??? I don't know, maybe. I know things 'happen for a reason' and such. I also believe with miscarriages that something probably wasn't right, but nonetheless, it is still heartwrenching.

I am so grateful for my beautiful healthly little boy. I just hope I can someday give him a sibling. I know it's in God's hands what will happen and that I have to let go of trying to control what happens with it, it's just hard. Like I said, we'll see what the OB has to say tomorrow and find out where to go from here.

Pillow Pic Memory Lane

After having suggested this little idea to a friend from high school on facebook for his new daughter. I flipped through my album and just smiled. I loved this little idea which I stole from my sister Amy who originally did it with my niece Sophia. So yes, I went tripping down memory lane. If any of you want a little recap and to take the trip, look on. At looking at the pics I realized I decided at "October" to try and theme his outfit and the print on the sign with the holiday/Halloween, but then I don't know why I didn't do a Christmas outfit for December. Oh well, something to keep in mind for the future. :) Enjoy!

As you can see, the older he got, the harder it was to keep him still. Which is why at month 11 he had to hold the tape dispenser for distraction and month 12 Scott's leg and arm made the photo of squirrley little Lincoln. :)

I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN...

So usually, parents teach their children how to ride a bike. But hey, where's the fun in that? Why not switch it up a bit...

"Ok Daddy. I'm going to say this one more time, now here's what you do. Put your feet on those pedal thingy's and push them forward to move..."

"PEDAL! PEDAL! You're doing it! Great job Daddy! Now, I won't let go unless you tell me it's ok."

Papa's Plane

This post is kind of an add on to my "Cars vs. Kee Kee" post in which I wished Lincoln would have just one favorite thing he has to sleep with instead of many things he has to sleep with. I completely forgot, there is one thing he frequently requests at bed time. Probably more so than any other toy. "Papa's Plane".

Papa had a lot of little knick knacks on his dresser. One of them was this little Army airplane. Lincoln loved playing with it when he visited Papa. After Papa passed, Lincoln was given the airplane. The little plane has since lost both tiny propellers but still holds Lincoln's heart. :) We keep a very close eye on this plane. I don't really let Lincoln take it out of the house, except when he's requested to take it if we're going to see Nana and my mom (Nonie).

I miss my Papa. I miss seeing his eyes light up when seeing Lincoln. Lincoln most likely at his age won't remember Papa, but I'll make sure he knows about the wonderful grandfather he had and how much his Papa loved him.

Feelin' HOT HOT HOT!!

Today involved some nasty heat, so much so that the power went out a few times. I'd already decided this morning, that knowing we had a heat advisory that I wasn't going out in the heat. I don't and never have handled heat well. But, I knew Lincoln would have fun if we set up a pool. Problem, our pool has a leak, and it was cheap enough I wasn't going to try to find the stupid leak/s to patch.

So, against my desire to not venture outside, I loaded Lincoln in the car and we made a trip to Target, made a mad dash for the pool aisle, grabbed one, checked out, and came home. It was quite possibly the shortest trip to Target I've ever had and probably the only trip in which I came home with the ONE and ONLY thing on my list. :)

It took me forever, but with a lot of my sacraficed air and by the intensity of my headache, I'm guessing some brain cell loss, I got the pool inflated. So we filled it with freezing cold water and bath toys. We sat out there for awhile and even let Ozzy and Jack join in on the fun. :) There's no better way to spend a hot day than with my three favorite boys. :)

Kee Kee vs. Cars

When I was younger, I had a favorite blanket, I called it my kee-kee. My kee-kee went everywhere with me, but most importantly, it went with me to bed. Never have I wanted my son to have a dependency on one thing so much.

Today, as I laid Lincoln down for a nap, he got up to go get some cars. Yes, he sleeps with matchbox cars, this is nothing new. Usually, he gets about 2-3 cars to sleep with. I don't love this little habit of his, but he goes to bed feeling secure because he has his cars.

Well, today he had to get out of bed 3 times. Eventually, when all was said and done, 13 cars and one airplane lay in bed with Lincoln! Ugh, I wish he had a kee-kee... :)

The many adorable faces of Lincoln John...

ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS AN ADORABLE LITTLE BOY, WITH MANY ADORABLE FACES. HERE IS SOME OF HIS STORY...

"OK MOM, CLICK AWAY..."

"HERE'S MY STUD POSE FOR YOU..."

"I'M REFLECTING..."

"THIS IS MY 'DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA' MODEL PHOTO"...

"BWAHAHAHAHA, I'M DEVIOUS..."



"OK NOW I'M OFFICIALLY TICKED OFF!"

THE END...FOR NOW. :)

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

In honor of The Twilight Saga's newest installment "Eclipse" coming out in theatre's this month, I have changed my background. If anyone has me as a friend on facebook, and I talk about loving "Edward" and/or Robert Pattinson, this is where I fell in love with him. :) Robert Pattinson plays "Edward Cullen" in the Twilight Saga. He is the beautiful guy whose face ironically sits above the letters "ec" on my background. :)

On June 29th, my sisters Amy and Megan and a few friends are going to be a small number of the crazed "Twifans" at the theatre for the midnight premiering of "Eclipse". However, not before we see "Twilight" and "New Moon" right before starting at 7pm!!! 7 hours of Rob Pattinson on the big screen! Ahhhhhhhhh. ;)

Soccer Mom!

WELL SLAP A STICKER ON MY BUMPER AND CALL ME A SOCCER MOM!!!

Yes, today I'm officially a soccer mom! Well, for the day at least, if Lincoln decides he doesn't like it. I guess I have to also say, maybe I'm not a 'true soccer mom' because I don't have a minivan, but close enough. :) I signed our little guy up for "Introduction to Soccer Starz" at one of the local gym/physical therapy facilities, "Performance Therapies". It is really close to our house which is nice too. Lincoln will have soccer from 11:00am-11:45am every Thursday. :) I'm sooooooooo excited!

I've always wanted at least one of my children to play soccer. I've never actually followed the world of soccer or anything, I just like the sport. In fact, in high school, you know how the girls are always 'crazy' about the football and basketball players? I was never one of those crazy about athletes in general, but I did think the soccer players were the hotter ones! I can always tell by looking at a guys calves if he's been a soccer player. Hahahahahahahahaha. :)

Don't misunderstand me, I don't necessarily want my son to be the object of any girls affection any time soon, but he is pretty darn cute, so soccer player or not, I know I should realistically prepare myself for girls to be calling my house far sooner than I'd probably like them to be. So we'll see how this goes in a few hours. I'll post an update later!

Ice Cream Truck, TAKE 2...

The ice cream truck came down our street again last night. I hesitated because Lincoln and I shared a bowl of ice cream about 30 minutes before. He even asked me for more at the time and I said no because he had a majority of the bowl! But, I'm a sucker. I remembered the first time (what like a week ago?) when he asked me for Dora and I had to tell him, 'next time buddy'. Well, here was our chance. So we headed out front and sure enough, Lincoln picked the Dora bar. :)

So our little guy came inside and very proud, sat down and ate his Dora bar. :)

The papergirls

So, one of my 2 best girlfriends, Katie, recently took on a paper route to have some extra cash. Paper routes have evolved from what they used to be. Long gone are the 'paperboy's on their bicycles.' Even looking for newspaper clipart, I couldn't find a papergirl! :( Just paperboy's on bikes. Well these days there are paperboys & papergirls and generally, they travel by automobiles. :) Well, 2 weeks into her 7 morning/week route, yes EVERY MORNING, I myself couldn't sleep, so I decided to tag along. It is now 9:30 am. We got to the distribution center at 2 am, rubber banded all the papers (we didn't have to put them in plastic bags today) and delivered all the necessary papers by 5:00am this morning. When I got home, it took me a bit to fall asleep, but I did nonetheless, only to be woken up with "Mommy, wake up" at 8:00am. I was tired, but I'm functioning.

About my experience, a few houses in, Katie gave me a paper to toss, I chucked it, only to have it go into the person's bush, no where near their door. I dragged myself up to the house and placed in on the front stoop. The next house, I chucked theirs, only to have it hit the house and bounce right back. Again, no where near the door. I again got out and placed it on their front stoop. I returned to Katie's car where my bruised ego and myself were beginning to think I wouldn't make it as a papergirl, (or a pitcher for that matter) I'd be fired before I finished one block!! I told Katie "I'm so fired!" She laughed and I said "give me another chance". We had about 100 more chances in the back seat. :) By the end of the night, my aim was a little sharper, my arm a little stronger.

Thank you Katie, for allowing me to tag along on your journey. I end with this, I think your freakin' nuts. :)

Ice Cream Truck

We've all probably heard it at some point in our lives, my childhood summers we're frequented by its song. The sound of "The Entertainer" at full volume getting louder and louder as it approaches your neighborhood. Yes, it's the ice cream truck. :)

I always loved running up and picking out my selection although ridiculously expensive. Well, last night "The Entertainer" was gracing our street. Usually I don't miss that catchy annoying tune, but the TV was blaring with Toy Story 2 on. Scott looked at me and said "you hear it?" I jumped off the couch excited and said to Lincoln, "c'mon hunny, it's the ice cream man". I flew open the front door, nearly missing them as they were about to pass my house. Of course I flagged 'em down! I didn't want Lincoln to miss it! The three of us went outside and walked up to the truck. I said to Lincoln, "ok buddy, which one do you want?" First he thought the "Ironman" bar, then maybe the "Dora" bar, finally, he selected the "Spiderman" bar. :)

I was thrilled he didn't consider the "Spongebob" bar, I won't watch that dumb show let alone let Lincoln. :) Scott and I both got ice cream sandwiches. :) Lincoln was so excited as he plopped into a chair and went to town on his ice cream. It actually had white gumball eyes! My little boy had his first ice-cream truck experience. :) After finishing the Spiderman bar, he said, "Dora ice cream?" To which I had to say, "maybe next time buddy. :)